If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
