you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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