Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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