i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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