There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
