He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
