It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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