Got a toothbrush?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
time to smoke my breakfast
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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