Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
