The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
