tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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