When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
