Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
