i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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