where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
