we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
