I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
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Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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