like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
