I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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