i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
