so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
