Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
