in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
