Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
