we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
