Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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