k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
