That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
