no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
