i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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