I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
