Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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