1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize