The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize