Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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