YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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