Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dick very happy bro
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
