And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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