i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
