and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize