Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
