The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
now i know why i became what i already was.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
