I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
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sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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