its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
