Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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