i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
