I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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