is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
