I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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