hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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