I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
