She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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