i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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