it's too hot outside to masturbate.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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