a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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