It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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