just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
