I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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