And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
