I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
