I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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